Perspective

I wanted to write a little bit to put some perspective on what I have been through. First, I would not have been able to do what I did without the man standing to my left in the picture- my dad. My dad took a six month leave of absence from work just to come stay with me in Tucson and take care of me. I initially underestimated how hard all this would be and thought that it was really nice of him, but that he might not have much caretaking work. Boy was I wrong. There is no way I would have done this without a caretaker as loving, compassionate, and dedicated as my dad. He has put his life on hold solely for the purpose of constantly taking care of my every need. For this I am eternally grateful, and I know this would have been much tougher without him.

My second caretaker is a woman who set a record for amount of throw up cleaned up in a two week period. That is Jen. She tirelessly researched everything to do with head and neck cancer, and was beyond prepared to tell me what was normal and what people were doing whenever I came across a problem. Beyond that she is responsible for me having such high spirits through the whole ordeal. Any time I got to see her was a time for me to just be happy. For Valentine's day, she decorated my room, and almost everyday throughout the whole treatment she did at least something as simple as leaving me a note. Since she learned so much about the whole process she was an invaluable resource for keeping me doing what I needed to be doing.

My ultimate perspective on the whole thing is that I had to go through something very unfortunate, but it was simply something that I had to do. Any of you would have done the same thing. When you are faced with this situation, there is just no other option besides to fight. And I fought a miserable, cruel fight. I don't and never have viewed my situation as tragic. There are much worse things that can happen to one in life. As far as bad things go, I got off relatively easy. I will have to sacrifice through changing my lifestyle for the next few years, but for other tragedies the recovery is not that easy.

I hope my sister doesn't mind me bringing her up, but she is my true hero and source of inspiration, because she went through a legitimate tragedy. Her journey was harder than mine, and I would go through my treatment forever if it meant having to avoid what she has been through. And yet, her situation never got the kind of press someone going through cancer gets. I don't even know if she got as much support as I got. What I have realized through all this is to pay attention to all suffering, not just the ones that are obvious. I hope to keep forever, the sensitivity that this terrible disease has given me.

Steve