Thursday, February 28, 2008

Perspective

I wanted to write a little bit to put some perspective on what I have been through. First, I would not have been able to do what I did without the man standing to my left in the picture- my dad. My dad took a six month leave of absence from work just to come stay with me in Tucson and take care of me. I initially underestimated how hard all this would be and thought that it was really nice of him, but that he might not have much caretaking work. Boy was I wrong. There is no way I would have done this without a caretaker as loving, compassionate, and dedicated as my dad. He has put his life on hold solely for the purpose of constantly taking care of my every need. For this I am eternally grateful, and I know this would have been much tougher without him.

My second caretaker is a woman who set a record for amount of throw up cleaned up in a two week period. That is Jen. She tirelessly researched everything to do with head and neck cancer, and was beyond prepared to tell me what was normal and what people were doing whenever I came across a problem. Beyond that she is responsible for me having such high spirits through the whole ordeal. Any time I got to see her was a time for me to just be happy. For Valentine's day, she decorated my room, and almost everyday throughout the whole treatment she did at least something as simple as leaving me a note. Since she learned so much about the whole process she was an invaluable resource for keeping me doing what I needed to be doing.

My ultimate perspective on the whole thing is that I had to go through something very unfortunate, but it was simply something that I had to do. Any of you would have done the same thing. When you are faced with this situation, there is just no other option besides to fight. And I fought a miserable, cruel fight. I don't and never have viewed my situation as tragic. There are much worse things that can happen to one in life. As far as bad things go, I got off relatively easy. I will have to sacrifice through changing my lifestyle for the next few years, but for other tragedies the recovery is not that easy.

I hope my sister doesn't mind me bringing her up, but she is my true hero and source of inspiration, because she went through a legitimate tragedy. Her journey was harder than mine, and I would go through my treatment forever if it meant having to avoid what she has been through. And yet, her situation never got the kind of press someone going through cancer gets. I don't even know if she got as much support as I got. What I have realized through all this is to pay attention to all suffering, not just the ones that are obvious. I hope to keep forever, the sensitivity that this terrible disease has given me.

Steve

video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kSfRkOjmKQ

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Done

I will definitely keep the blog going through my first Berto's burrito. I should still have some more interesting stuff to post, although hopefully it's all good.

Today was a very exciting and emotional day. It's hard to describe how overwhelming it was to have them take off the mask for the last time. The radiation technicians gave me a special diploma and a rose for having completed the 33 radiation treatments. Everyone was so supportive.

One of my fellow cancer fighters gave me an incredible card. He came up to me one day about a week ago and said him and his wife have been praying for me even though we had never even met. Then, today, he gave me very nice congratulatory card. I can't tell you how thankful I am to people like that and to all of you who have shown me such incredible support. I truly love you all. You have made this a lot easier on me and I am forever grateful.

Steve

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

tomorrow

Tomorrow is my last day of treatment! I should finish about 2:00. The radiation starts at 1:30 and lasts about a half an hour. It will be a very welcome ending. I have been feeling pretty terrible lately. I threw up 5 times yesterday and once two hours ago. I actually started this blog then had to go take a break. I don't know what is causing all this but I can't wait for it to go away.

Thanks to all the people cheering me on. It will still be a little bit of a challenge after all this is over, but at least i can rest all the time. It will take a little while for my mouth to heal up, but hopefully the healing process goes quickly.

Steve

Saturday, February 23, 2008

stew

To my list of what I am going to eat, I need to add my grandma's stew. I am watching Jen and my mom eat it right now and it is absolute torture. Maw Maw, can you make this for me when I am feeling better?

Steve

movies

Using my Blockbuster gift card, last weekend I rented three movies: Rocket Science, Waking Ned Devine, and King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, and all were superb. But, King of Kong really stole the show. If you haven't seen it, it is a documentary about a man from Redmond, WA and his quest to get the highest Donkey Kong score of all time. He is up against current record holder Billy Mitchell, who also is the only person to ever get a perfect score in Pac-Man. The movie is really made by Billy who turns out to be the biggest buffoon in any documentary I have ever seen. You couldn't have written a better character if you tried. The bottom line is go to your nearest movie store, or Netflix King of Kong asap. It is the best humor documentary since Wordplay, although I don't want to say which one is better.

So, now this weekend, I am looking for more movies, and per Jim's suggestion, have decided to open up the forum to see what you think I should rent. I am looking for humorous or uplifting movies, although any movie in any genre will be considered fairly.

My top three come from my days sailing aboard the Misinclined. They are:
  1. Animal House
  2. Captain Ron
  3. Grumpy Old Men (or substitute Air Force One- "Get off my plane")
I actually had somewhat of a tough week. As I said earlier, I had to have chemo again on Tuesday, and i didn't really notice the effects at first, but starting on Thursday and continuing until now, I have felt really nauseous and out of it. I keep thinking that "tomorrow will be the day it passes" but that hasn't happened yet. Since I was feeling so bad, I actually couldn't go through with the radiation on Friday. I was just so nauseous and every time they put the mask on I just panicked. Finally, they gave me shot to calm me down, but that didn't work. Finally, I just called the whole thing off. So, instead of only having two days left, I still have three left. But that's ok. Only a half a week of treatment. I just need to get the nausea under control.

It's not too big of a deal, because my radiation oncologist actually wanted to take Friday off anyway. So, the finish line is still in site. Thanks for all your support.

Steve

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Thanks for all the book suggestions!

This was taken by Jen over the weekend. I bought three books this weekend. Thanks for all the great recommendations. I hope to get to them all at some point.

I had my last chemo treatment today! There was debate about whether or not to do it and if we should use the 5-FU. We decided to just do a small dose of Cisplatin and forgo the 5-FU since they think that's what wrecked my lips and neck. Also I only have five more days of radiation, so I can count down the days on one hand.

Steve

Saturday, February 16, 2008

new phone

I lost my phone at radiation about two weeks ago and finally got a new one today. The only problem is I don't have anyone's phone number anymore. Since it might be kind of weird to post that information on a public forum, you can email me at stevenmmanos@gmail.com or manoss@email.arizona.edu. Notice the two m's in the gmail address. Or you can just post here if you want. Thanks and I will have another update soon since I finished another week!

Steve

P.S. I still can't talk so don't be expecting any long chats but I can text message and my fingers seem to be doing fine through all this!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

books

Well I finished "The Road" by my favorite author Cormac McCarthy last night ("All the Pretty Horses" and "No Country for Old Men") but was thinking the whole time, "this is not the book to be reading while you are trying to stay in a good mood. It was superbly written and a great book, but it was just as weird and dark, although the ultimate message may have been good for my situation. The book is about a father and a son who wander the roads after most of civilization has been destroyed. There are very few other people alive and no animals survived some sort of tragedy that hit the earth. Very little happens, but it is a constant struggle for father and son to survive. The whole book is about not giving into the utter tragedy of the situation, but the situation is so tragic, it is hard to stay in a good mood while reading it. Plus, it is actually pretty suspenseful, which I think kept me from sleeping. I guess I am starting to say too much, but my point is, the book was great, but I want to read more uplifting material. (It doesn't sound like the greatest plot, but really is a good book.)

So, I am asking for suggestions as to what you think the most uplifting or humorous books are. My top three are:
  1. The Power of One
  2. Candide
  3. A Confederacy of Dunces
I have received good books from people, but I am running out and need something to read.

Good books people have given me are "New Rules" by Bill Maher (a book I found surprisingly funny), "I am America and So Can You" by Stephen Colbert (very funny) and "Pure Drivel" by Steve Martin (haven't listened to it yet). Also, I wouldn't classify it as an uplifting book but "A Fine Balance" was one of the most remarkable books I have read in a while if you are looking for something to read.

So any suggestions you have would be great.

Steve

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Back in the Saddle

I started radiation again yesterday, but before I talk about that I wanted to tie up a few loose ends with some previous posts.

Ted and Billy are right that Honey Bears and Berto's should be added to the Phoenix list respectively. As is my mom for suggesting El Chorro. My bad.

On the Seattle side, I had forgotten about the taco truck, because it was harder to keep track of than the dude. I thought it had gone the way of disco. But, if it still alive and well (apparently x3) then put them all on the list.

As far as San Diego goes, with me leaving off Sara's, Gabiano's, and the Bull Weevil, well, I never included San Diego in the cities, because the cities I listed were ones I hoped to visit by early summer, and the San Diego trip comes in late summer. Plus, nobody said Filipi's, which is still my favorite despite a seeming ambivalence from the rest of the family. Since this was left out, I don't feel too bad for excluding San Diego food.

I was very impressed with all the comments from the state of the economy post. Everybody really put a lot of thought into it. Even Seth's short comment was brilliant. It was interesting last night when I stumbled onto a website that had Econ t-shirts, and one shirt said, "Sure it works in practice, but does it work in THEORY." I had a pretty good chuckle, because that's the way academic economists seem to think. All the papers presented in the Econ department seminars have almost nothing to do with reality. This is a real problem for an economist when you then have to talk about real life situations. I think my own comments come from a point of view with an obvious lack of experience, and is one that relies more on theory. You can contrast that with the unbelievable insights of my uncles who showed great knowledge in how economics plays out daily in their jobs. I hate to single people out, but I was really impressed with Jim, David, Brian (not an uncle, but a former coach so close enough), and Bean's comments. I am sure we will get to talk more one on one in the future. And Bean it would be great to be discussing economics on the CT back roads again. I do feel I have some more arguments for you against the minimum wage but I will save them until then. But can't we agree that a national minimum wage of $11.15 is a little high? Like I said in the blog, I have to imagine that has an impact on poorer states like West Virginia.

My only other follow up discussion would be on OPEC. There was an interesting article in the Economist last summer I wish I could find, and will post if I do. The article was on three common economic misperceptions. Number two was that the current high oil prices are due to OPEC. While it is true that OPEC played a larger role in the oil shocks in the 70s, and was very successful controlling prices then, its influence is no longer as strong. Since 1973, OPEC has steadily lost ground in the world share of oil produced. It reached a high of 52% and now produces about 40%. This is not to say that OPEC can't alter prices, but if you look at modern day fluctuations in demand, they are a much better predictor of price changes. In other words, it is the old fashion laws of supply and demand rather than conspiratory cartel behavior that explains why oil is above $100 a barrel. The fact is that demand for oil has surged over the last few years and will continue to surge unless we are to change our behavior. These surges are what have caused the price increases. In other words, we are handcuffing our own hands and doing nothing about it. One blog reader sent me an interesting email saying sales of SUVs actually increased in 2007! With China booming and the U.S. consumer refusing to change his preferences, we can only expect the problem to get worse. And it won't be OPEC's fault; it will be our own.


Sorry, for the rambling, but I did start treatment again yesterday! To be honest I was nervous and hesitant to start again, because me lips were previously so banged up. They looked like I was repeatedly punched by someone wearing barbed wire over their boxing gloves. It was almost unbelievable to look at. But, by Monday they were much better. I was still fearful that once we started again, they would go back to looking terrible, but so far so good. I am getting to the point in my treatment where I am not quite close enough to being finished to get excited, so I am getting kind of impatient. But, once this week is done, then I have next week, and if I get through next week, I will be on the last week! So, really I am closer than I think. Overall, I am feeling better and have more energy that I did in the past. The chemo really did a number on me and I am just now starting to get over that. The week where I have chemo and radiation at the same time was definitely the worst.

I also have good news that I am doing a reverse balding. You know how most people get bald on top and then have the classic horshoe pattern of hair around the side and back of the head? Well, mine is the opposite. Just the back of my head is balding, and I think that is all that I am really going to loose. Unfortunately I am not allowed to just chop all the hair off or I would, but after this is over I probably will.

Steve

Sunday, February 10, 2008

state of the economy

(Warning: reading this column make make you so bored you end up in a worse condition than I am.)

In retrospect, I really regret ever saying I would do this post, as I haven't really been paying attention to the economy too much. Also, I realized it was a lot more work than I wanted to put in. I have watched a lot of political news, but it's all about the election. Listening to most of candidates speak actually hurts your economic knowledge, so I hope I don't say too much that doesn't make sense. I will tell you now, that raising the minimum wage to $11.15, as Edwards wanted, does not make sense (more later), and injecting $1 billion into the housing market, as Hillary wanted, does not make sense. I am not really sure where these people get their numbers. Do they just randomly think they make sense, or do they have economists who crunched the numbers and found they were the best? My guess is the former.

My other reason for not wanting to do a state of the economy blog is that surprisingly, I know very little about Macroeconomics--the area that deals with things like recessions. There are no Macroeconomist researcher on staff at U of A, and the one "Macro" class we do take is literally just a theory course on Dynamic Programming. The most helpful textbook was an operations research textbook, followed by Stokey, Lucas, Prescott. Basically, I know the math behind Macro, but nothing about Macro. This probably means nothing to most people, I just wanted to say I know very little about Macro. In fact, if you read the Economist weekly, you know more than I do.

So, all analysis here will really come from an introductory Econ class.

First, I need to talk about the dollar, because I am so annoyed by this McDonald's commercial. In case you haven't seen it, a group of nincompoops is sitting around talking about how the dollar is tanking. Then, a smug worker comes in saying he got a double cheeseburger for a dollar, and then all the nincompoops start talking about how strong the dollar is. The commercial makes me so upset, because these workers are confusing inflation with the strength of the dollar. Let's get one thing strait: changes in the price of domestic goods represents inflation. You paying more for a pair of Levi's, movie ticket, and other goods is inflation. If prices go down, that is deflation. Most likely, neither is correlated with the strength of the dollar.

The strength of the dollar represents how costly it is to buy a particular foreign currency. The dollar only rises and falls with respect to a particular other currency. For instance, it could rise against the pound but fall against the Euro. It so happens, that the dollar has continuously fallen against all: pound, Euro, Yen, Loonie, and other major currencies.

What does this mean? It means if you want to buy a European good or a European stock, it is going to now cost you more, because you have to trade in more dollars to get the same amount of Euros.

If you read a Newsweek article on the subject a year or two ago, you would think the falling dollar was a sign of the apocolypse, but what are the real consequences? They are both good and bad, but a weak dollar is not the end of the world. For instance, it is well known that the United States has a very bad trade imbalance. Since the 70's we have imported more than we have exported and keep doing so in larger proportions. A weaker dollar will help alleviate this problem, since it means that foreign goods are now more expensive. Also, for foreigners, our goods are relatively cheaper. So, foreigners will buy more of our goods and we will buy less of their goods; thus, reducing the trade imbalance.

The downside to a weak dollar is that if a foreigner wants to invest in U.S. stocks or bonds (and they do heavily) it is now more expensive for them to do do. Say someone in Japan wants to buy a 5 year Treasury note. Well, now they have to trade in more Yen than they used to in order to buy the note. So, we would expect a lowering of foreign investment into the United States.

Is this a problem? Yes. Investment is perhaps the biggest catalyst of growth. Firms (businesses) obviously need capital in order to finance new projects or to expand their businesses. We want firms to expand, because that means more jobs. It also means more innovation. We want there to be sufficient capital to help start new businesses and to help businesses develop new ideas. It may be cheesy, but it is true that this entrepreneurial spirit is what makes the U.S. so great, and it will be necessary to sustain our greatness in the future.

Aside: this is why the "big three" auto manufacturers make me so mad. They fail innovate and just stick with the same mold year in and year out. It makes me so mad, that I have had to start rooting against them. I don't understand how you could compete so poorly with foreign auto manufacturers. I do blame part of it on the unions, although they shouldn't bear the brunt of the blame. I can't find the numbers, but I once heard that union costs add somewhere between $500 to $1,000 to the price of every domestic car. The real reason for the "big three's" failure is an inability to innovate. They failed to forsee the compact car revolution and they failed to forsee the hybrid revolution. Ford does have a legitimate hybrid in the Escape but had to license the technology from Toyota after they violated Toyota's patent right. GM has as abundant amount of commericals lauding their hybrids but nothing to really compete with the Prius or Civic. Also, they have tended to focus on alternative fuels rather than electic cells like Toyota and Honda. If you look, the Malibu hybrid gets a whopping 32 mpg on the highway! Wow!

Aside2: It does not make sense to try to develop hydrogen or ethanol fuel compatible engines in the U.S. as GM is doing. First, how do we get hyrogen? In the U.S. we get it buy buring coal. So, calling hydrogen, "a green alternative" doesn't make sense. The U.S. currently gets about 50% of all its energy from coal, which is an issue I may discuss later, but coal is the worst option for producing energy, and I can't see why we'd want to use more of it. Second, ethanol can be used in fuel and is made from crops like sugar and corn. The problem is (1) why do we keep looking to natural resources as an answer when there is currently technology that allows propulsion to occur based on an automobiles' own energy. I.e. Toyota and Honda have developed a way to power a car using no outside fuel inputs. Shouldn't we be following this route rather than just looking for other inputs? (2) A surge in using agricultural commodities drastically affects agricultural markets. It doesn't take an Econ PhD to tell you what will happen to the price of corn when demand for it shoots through the roof-- it is going to raise high. In turn then, some people will turn to substitutes like wheat instead, and that increase in demand is going to raise the price of wheat. So, what you are doing is raising the prices of agricultural goods, and ultimately food prices in the U.S. Plus, the U.S. already consumes an unbelievable amount of corn. If you look at what you eat, you will be very surprised to see that you probably can't go a day without consuming corn. Anyone who simply drinks a soda will do so.

Sorry for the asides, but my point with the dollar is that it is not as bad as it is made out to be. If you are staying in the U.S. and not traveling abroad, it really shouldn't affect you too much. Also, as long as U.S. firms remain dominant, people will keep investing here.

So, Steve, what about this recession! First, contrary to what you might think, the economy is still in an expansionary phase, and we're not in a recession. Yes, many signs point to an upcoming recession. The Dow, Nasdaq, and S&P 500 all had down weeks; jobless numbers are up; and consumer confidence is down. These are all three indicators that an upcoming recession is LIKELY but does not mean that we will have own. I do lean towards there being a recession simply because of all the talk of a recession. The politicians and media have been working overtime to scare consumers, and just creating the expectation of a recession can cause a recession. Consumers will cutback on spending out of fear for their jobs or financial security and cause a recession. I didn't read a recent Newsweek, but again, the cover was a nightmarish prophecy of a doomed economy. I am not sure why Newsweek is so pessimistic, but they are not helping matters by scaring people. (If you did read this issue and I am wrong about scaring people, please let me know.)

In order to have a recession, we need two consecutive quarters of negative growth in real GDP (gross domestic product). In other words, we need to produce less as a country for two consecutive quarters. My guess is that if there is a recession, it will be relatively short and mild, much like the previous recession. That's one reason I can't understand this rush to create a stimulus package. The other reason is that stimulus packages rarely work. I am not a believer that President Bush's tax cuts got us out of the previous recession. I think we were on our way out anyway. I also think that by the time you get your $200 dollar check, the economy will probably be fine. Aside from the fact that stimulus packages like these are usually so poorly timed, there is no economic evidence that these types of stimulus packages do anything to help the economy. They only thing they do is help politicians. Stimulus packages are politically popular, because politicians need to be able to say, "look what I'm doing to help you." And most Americans buy into it. Unfortunately a lot of times no action is better than action, but politicians are too afraid to say this. John McCain was the only politician I saw who said he didn't know if he would do anything about the housing "crisis." Thank you John.

Let's talk for a minute about this "crisis." First, everyone saw it coming, but no one did anything. The Economist magazine had been predicting a collapse in the U.S. housing market at least two years before it actually happened and did so regularly. Did this cause financial institutions to change their lending practices, or homeowners to change their borrowing habits? No. So it is hard for me to feel too sorry for companies like Countrywide. To me, they were greedy in their practices of giving out loans, and should not be surprised that a large number of people had to default. If you are giving out no-doc loans you shouldn't be surprised when people can't pay. On the campaign trail Hillary Clinton has been talking about the family that took out a second mortgage to finance a college eduction for their kid and then had to default on their home. Well, Hillary, I don't think this is the average reason Americans were taking out second mortgages. Most saw that interest rates were low (temporarily) and decided to refinance to milk as much cash as they could out of their house. Most probably bought a new car, television, etc. Then, when interest rates went up, they were unable to pay because they signed some sort of variable interest mortgage. While, I feel for a lot of these people, I don't think a bail out of the mortgage industry is a good idea. In economics there is a term called moral hazard. It simply means that people act differently when they don't bear the consequences of their actions. I.e. people drive more recklessly when they have car insurance. Or here, financial institutions behave more poorly (take on too much risk) when they know the government is going to bail them out. If financial institutions know they are going to be bailed out by the government, then they are going to be too greedy in their actions. So, the government needs to set a precedent now, that they don't bail out companies that behaved poorly. Thank you to John McCain for being the only one to agree.

Back to the recession. The housing market will correct itself in time, and its impact on the economy will become minimal.

But, Steve, should the government do anything? The only thing I would do is TEMPORARILY alter unemployment benefits. You should see research/articles by Alan Krueger on the matter. In most times, I do not believe in high unemployment benefits. It has been well shown that high unemployment benefits lead to a much higher unemployment rate. This is why the unemployment rate in the U.S. is two times lower that most Western European countries. Western European countries have a very large unemployment web to fall into, and unemployment benefits last for a long time and benefits are very high. I don't think you have to be an economist to see why unemployment would be a lot higher. During times of downturn though, high benefits don't keep people from working as much, and as I said, they help ease consumer fears. Consumers won't spend much less, knowing that if they lose their job, they wond't lose their financial security. I emphasized temporary, because many social fixes start out as temporary but become permanent.

I think the government needs to be a little more worried about the long term health of the economy, and there are a few things that hinder it. The first, is the much talked about dependence on foreign energy. The solution has been to invest in things like ethanol, which I just don't get, and cannot understand why we aren't looking at other alternatives. One is wind. Wind power has steadily grown in the U.S. but setting up a "wind farm" is such a capital intensive operation that an insufficient number are set up. Also, there were originally problems with the blades cutting down flocks of birds, but the blades now turn slow enough that this isn't a problem. Another benefit of wind power is that once the "farm" is set up, there are really no additional costs. Wind power isn't popular though, because there is no one to lobby for it like there is for ethanol. President Bush is going to promote ethanol because that's where the money is.

Another option is nuclear energy. France actually gets something like 70% of its energy from nuclear sources. My main point though, is that there are other means than ethanol to look into.

The second hindrance for long term growth is the U.S.'s high corporate tax rate. The U.S. corporate income tax rate is 34%, and is the highest among OECD countries. As a reference, in Ireland the corporate income tax rate is 12.5% and since Ireland lowered their corporate income tax rate, they have seen an incredible surge in their economy. You may have heard the term "Celtic Tiger" to describe Ireland's economy. As American's it is natural to be concerned with the exodous of U.S. corporations to other countries, but we must ask ourselves why is this happening. Part of the answer is cheap labor abroad, but part of the answer is that the tax situation in other countries is much more friendly. Many Asian economies have areas that are no tax zones, so that a U.S. corporation could move there are pay no corporate income tax. It's then not hard to see why it is tempting for U.S. corporations to move off-shore.

Corporations have to compete, and the fact is that not all corporations are as successful as Microsoft. Many struggle to be viable, and those that are viable have to maintain healthy profits to satisfy shareholders. We can make it less attractive for marginal corporations to move off-shore if we lower the corporate income tax rate. It is not Microsoft that we are worried about moving its headquarters to Thailand. Companies like this can afford to pay the high rate. In fact, they probably prefer the high rate because it drives out marginal competitors. So, its not like you are really socking it to the Wall-Street fat cats by having a high corporate income tax. You are socking it to the marginal corporation operating in an ordinary American city.

Lastly, this is my problem with the minimum wage. You are not hurting Microsoft with a high minimum wage. But you are hurting your local coffee shop or sandwich shop. These businesses that are on the margin of surviving are the ones that are hurt and are the ones that will either have to lay people off or go out of business. If they can't lay off people, then they have to raise their prices, which is what happened to many shops in Tucson after the recent minimum wage increase. I think there is a common misperception that just because you have a business you must be doing well and can afford to have money taken away from you, but this is just not the case for the vast majority of businesses in the U.S. I recently talked with a local coffee shop owner who said her business was already struggling and with a new increase in the Arizona minimum wage was really worried about her shop. She did say she was for the increase, but that it did hurt her business. I only bring this up, because John Edwards wanted to raise the minimum wage even way higher to like $11.15. Well, this may make sense in Seattle, but what do you think this is going to do in West Virginia. I guarantee you it would hurt employment. And who do you think is going to have a hard time finding a job? Well-educated people? No, poor, uneducated people are hurt the most be the minimum wage, because their jobs are the first to go. Some people end up winners-those that can keep their jobs, but some end up losers because they can't get a job at that high of a wage rate.

If you made it this far congratulations. I hope I didn't bore you too much and feel free to criticize me all you want. Like I said, I am not an expert on the subject, but do have an opinion. I could very well be wrong on a number of things, but the alternative energy and corporate tax thing I am pretty passionate about.

Steve


Oh, and my last two points were going to be the educational system in the United States and the amount of visas given out to educated foreigners. I think its silly to restrict these visas, as we have. I think our primary and secondary educational systems are broken. But I am not one to believe in some national fix. I think it's each state's responsibility to invest heavily in education and to try to innovate. By not nationalizing education, hopefully we promote innovation, where different states try different things and we can learn from the successes and failures in order to grow.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

what i am going to eat once i can again

Thanks for all your kind words. I have one more post before the state of the economy post and that is what I plan on eating once I can eat again. I am open to other suggestions, but they have to be homemade. Also, you'll note, this mission is going to have to involve my grandmother (maw maw) heavily, but I do contribute myself. Thanks again for all your support.

Not in a particular order but this is what I am going to eat for dinner during the first two weeks I can (all homemade):
  • greek style macaroni and cheese
  • dolmades
  • spanakopita
  • chili
  • green chili
  • lesco (hungarian dish)
  • lasagna
  • chicken pot pie
  • hamburger with swiss cheese portabello mushrooms and grilled onions
  • greek style pork chops
  • my own macaroni and cheese
  • my own enchiladas
  • flank steak
  • calzones: whoever is around we will all make our own kinds

When I go to other cities after this is all over and want to eat out:

Phoenix: Los Dos Molinos, Phoenix City Grille
Seattle: Dick's, Piecora's, Yoshinos, Duke's Chowder House
Eugene: Burrito Boy
Hartford: Trumbull Kitchen, but really anything my Aunt Connie cooks is best
Malad: Drive-in

hold on (not related to the song i suggested earlier which got very little praise)

Today, I woke up just praying that the TOMO machine that does my radiation would be broken. That happened once in the past, but today it would would have saved me a lot of pain. You see, my lips have become horribly disfigured over the last few days, and the sores in my mouth are also painful. My lips are swollen and encrusted in scabs and are very painful. I reached a low last night when they started to bleed pretty hard. I just put a wet towel there, but it was painful because the towel got stuck to the lips.

I met with my medical oncologist yesterday and he said the reason I looked so bad was from the 5-FU. I should actually back up a month or two to when the medical oncologist called me at home and said he was considering adding 5-FU to my treatment but he wanted me to know that the side effects would be very bad, which he reiterated a few times. I of course was willing to take anything they threw at me because I wanted to be as aggressive as possible, regardless of the pain. Then, the medical oncologist asked to speak to my dad to tell him of the drug and get him on board, reiterating how tough it would be.

Well, according to the medical oncologist, the 5-FU drastically increases the power of the radiation, and that caused the radiation to rip apart my mouth and lips.

On Monday I talked with the radiation oncologist, and we agreed to lower the amount of radiation going to the lips. Yesterday, we did treatment as usual, and today I was laying down on the TOMO machine, ready to go, when one of the radiation techs said wait a minute, "I am going to go page Dr. ____." The doctor came in and said we would postpone treatment today and thanked the girls for alarming him of my worsening lip situation.

The radiation oncologist basically said they modified my plan, but that there was very little radiation going there to begin with, and that it must be the chemo causing the sores. He also said we would have to take time off because there is a certain threshold of what your body can take and that I was there. I was worried because the day before the medical oncologist warned that taking breaks of six or seven days was bad. In general, I have heard that you want to complete your radiation with no breaks. So, I brought this up to the doctor and he said anything over five days is considered a break, but that we wouldn't go that long. This made me feel better. It also made me feel better when he said there is such a thing as being too aggressive. I think we have been very aggressive, but still want to push on as best we can.

I have a very rigorous plan of how to repair the lips. It basically involves about a 30 minute routine to be done every hour or two on the lips. It's designed to give moisture to the lips, which is ultimately how they'll heel. So, I am going to be fastidious about this, and also make sure to get all my calories, so my body can use them to heal.


I have mixed feelings about all this, but am still confident everything will be fine, and it will be nice to have healed lips.

I am still debating the "state of the economy post" as it seems like a lot of work, but I think a short posting should be coming soon. Also, look for a new post about what I plan on eating after this is over. I think this should be of particular interest to my cousin Ellen in Thailand who must already have a list of the American food she is going to eat when she gets back. Also, Ellen, were you referring to Los Compadres on 7th Avenue?

Sunday, February 3, 2008

get ready to rock

Given my love for BTO I think someone must have already suggested "Takin' Care of Business" so I won't suggest it, but BTO (Bachman Turner Overdrive) does have another song that rocks even harder "You ain't seen nothing yet." I would like this to be added to the Manos' list.

I was really surprised, when I saw BTO in concert (the second time) they literally played "Takin' Care of Business" three times. Once to open the concert. The second at midnight (it was New Years Eve), and the third to close the concert, but "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet" could have been played just as much.

Of course, I should also add: "Let it ride," "Roll on Down the Highway," and "Hey You" by BTO as they also rock really hard. Really I celebrate the whole collection, but I just wanted the music record to show that my picks draw heavily from the BTO fountain.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

the week from ellensberg (for those not familiar with Washington, not a great place)

warning: sensitive material, don't read if sensitive stomach

I am in a good mood for now, so I am going to strike while the iron's hot and get a blog in. The amount of blogging in the future may depend on herculean task of U of A beating UCLA in basketball tonight. The Cats are looking good, but lilliputian good compared to UCLA.

This week proved to be quite trying. I had to do the chemo with the radiation this week. The deal is that once every three weeks I have to do chemotherapy. The chemo involves one dose of Cisplatin that I get sitting down; it takes about an hour. Then, for four days straight I get 5-FU. As Dominic pointed out, any drug ending in FU is bound to knock you around harder than the late great Dale Earnhardt. I got the 5-FU off today, and got a liter of fluids and am finally feeling a lot better. Despite throwing up while getting the pump off, and throwing up heavily every day this week, I am finally starting to get more strength. Part of this is due to the fact that I started to use my PEG-tube/Gastroenterology tube. Basically, it's my feeding tube that Jenny nicknamed Peggy. I can't say I enjoy using it. It's pretty degrading, so I don't let people watch, but Peggy gets the job done. She's been the only way I have been able to keep food down. Although, by food I mean Ensure, or Ensure mixed with something like vitamin water. Once I can go 24 hours without throwing up I am going to try and eat something again.

For some reason, my throat and mouth aren't as sore as they use to be, so I think I could eat solid foods. The one problem is that my taste buds are all thrown off. I had a Sprite this morning, which I drank because the carbonation makes me feel better, but I couldn't taste any sweetness. It just tasted like carbonated water. Looking back, I have strong suspicions the Sprite was the culprit in my morning gut heaving. But, my point is that I have almost no taste, but I do have really strong cravings, which is why I got the Sprite in the first place. My mom just mentioned she almost got tuna fish, and that's all I have been able to think about. It sounds so good, but it's probably just as well I can't eat it, since it wouldn't taste like I imagine.

I am really looking forward to this all being over with, for the simple reason of being able to eat what I want, whenever I want, and to be able to enjoy it. Of course, for those who keep my nutruition in check, this does not mean McDonald's for dinner every night, but it does mean biscuits n' gravy if I feel like biscuits n' gravy.

Brian, your comment about this being the point in the race where your language and demeanor changes is quite punctilious. This week was a real struggle, but I am going to take these two days of rest and fight hard this next week. It will be nice to just have the radiation and not the chemo and radiation at the same time. This is definitely harder than I ever thought, but we don't have too much longer to go.

Thanks for all your support and comments. Each one means the world to me, and while I would have liked to have posted more frequently, I wasn't feeling well, but reading your comments really helped.